Kings Hardware Sliders - 1/29/07

rating: 5 out 5 (at happy hour); 4 out of 5 (the rest of the time)

price: $4.50 for 3 at happy hour from 6-8PM M-F;
or $5.95 for 3 at any other time

kings hardware provided the nacho girlfriends with a valuable food review lesson. the food is really only half of it. atmosphere, people, atmosphere - that is what it's about. this really comes into play more when we review the nachos. we did the first ever (and only, due to gastronomical distress) double review!! mini burgers and nachos! note the nacho review from kings hardware for more on the importance of atmosphere.

back to the sliders . . . they come three in a row, oh so cute! little american flags holding them together, a metal dish lined with red and white checked liner. we felt downright american and damn patriotic eating these beefy little delicacies! even commie pinko bastards will feel like a true american eating these mini-burgers. you really can't ask for much more in a mini-burger. the only flaw, seriously, was the price. $1.50 each at happy hour (not bad!) but $2 each the rest of the time? we think that is a bit steep for a patty smaller than a post-it note. (hence the double rating).

boo!: none really . . . unless you count the non-happy hour price.

yay!: caramelized onions (say no more!). the sliders also weren't greasy, yet tasted like something your mom might whip up for an after school snack (assuming you weren't the crazy dirty little latch-key kid at the end of the road). they also come with a delicious 'special sauce.' and best of all, we loved the sweet bread n' butter pickle slice on each burger! combined with the onions and sauce . . . mmmmmm. . . . hell yes these are some tasty sliders!

recommendation: if you should find yourself in ballard and have a hankering for a mini taste of americana, definitely get the sliders!! try it with a side of sweet potato fries just for the hell of it. if you are vegetarian, get the nachos. but otherwise, these are some top notch sliders that cannot be beat. and being that they we are talking about a bar in seattle, we can guarantee that they are way better than their full sized counterparts (although we have not tried any of the regular burgers so we can't really be the judge here).

North Bend Bar and Grill - most recently on 1/20/07

rating: 5 outta 5!!! Hell YES!!!

price: regular plate $9.95 ($1 extra to add meat) or SUPER nachos for $12.95 (includes meat)

if you've ever wondered how the nacho girlfriends can eat so many plates of nachos and without getting fat, here is the answer. you have to:

1) climb a mountain before eating them.

2) ski or snowboard all day long before eating them.

3) stop eating for a few days if you can't do 1 or 2

4) stick your finger down your throat (ha! kidding! and for the record we think bulimia is no laughing matter! not to mention tortilla chips and jalapenos would hurt coming back up...ouch!).

fortunately the best nachos we have found so far are in beautiful north bend (home of twin peaks!). it's a good thing these nachos are a mere 17 miles west of snoqualmie pass so we can play in the mountains first, and thus, not get fat. bonus! if you want to get right down to it, north bend bar and grill nachos are made of crack. or at least it would seem that way by the amount of time nacho girlfriend 2 spends there eating them, even though she lives in seattle. thus far we have drug about 10 people to north bend for nachos (best paired with local beers such as manny's or snoqualmie IPA!) and all agree that these are some of the best, if not the best, in the area. nacho girlfriend 1 was introduced to these "oh so yummy gastronomic delights" by nacho girlfriend 2 and have to agree these are some of the best nachos in the US.

they come in two sizes, regular and super. both are pretty much the same except the regular is the size of a plate (perfect for 2) and the super is the size of a platter (enough for an army). you also get a choice of plain, chicken or beef. so far we have only sampled the chicken, but is damn good! well-seasoned pulled chicken all over the place!

yay!: real yummy cheese and plenty of it. the chips don't get too soggy (be sure to ask for the sour cream on the side). generous helpings of toppings and more than willing to give us extra jalapenos. excellent topping variety (onions, olives, tomatoes, jalapenos, choice of chicken or beef) plus a pretty good salsa on the side. most importantly, the staff also gives plenty of napkins.

boo!: it could be layered a bit better . . . there are a few too many dry chips at the bottom. occasionally they go overboard on the chicken. it is possible to have too much chicken on your nachos. once in awhile you get a really bitchy bartender. north bend is pretty far away from seattle so you can't really have more than two beers with your nachos.

recommendation: GO!!! it's worth the drive. just don't forget to go hiking or snowboarding first so you won't get fat.

http://www.northbendbarandgrill.com/

A "Mini" Introduction

Have you ever wondered what Seattle does well? Well . . . we were wondering the same thing. Turns out it's music, traffic, and mini foods - and that's it. So we've taken it upon ourselves to review all edible mini things in Seattle (and vicinity). More importantly, we are on a mission to save Seattlites from bad nachos, one plate at a time. We like nachos almost as much as we like mini-food, and certainly aren't opposed to beef jerky . . . or BBQ . . . or (in Canada only) ketchup chips.

Trader Joe's Mini Beef Tacos - 1/23/06

Rating: 3 out of 5 (for a frozen food)

Price: cheap! but we didn't save the receipt

so really we can blame this blog on bed bug doug. who is bed bug doug you may ask? it doesn't matter. he has scabies. no wait, bed bugs. no! allergies . . . what does he have? oh sorry . . . we digress. back to the tj taco review.

so your beloved reviewers took a field trip to mission ridge which took a painful turn for the worst. nacho girlfriend 1 caught an edge and broke her shoulder. how could nacho girlfriend 2 cheer her up? frozen mini tacos accompanied by a mag of pinot grigio circa 2005, of course!!!

the mini beef tacos (also comes in chicken!) can be prepared 3 ways: deep fry, oven, or microwave. we do not deep fry our tacos. so, we tried them both microwaved and oven baked. the box also suggested a variety of condiments to accessorize your tacos (don't be fooled by the picture on the box. tomatoes and cheese not included). we discovered that tapatio, fat free tillamook sour cream, fat free sharp cheddar slices, trader joe guacamole, and jalapenos - or a combination thereof - were the preferred choices of toppings.

microwave: soggy and greasy, but easily separated for adding toppings. over all the taste was fine, but the texture left something to be desired. if you are adding any of the suggested condiments we recommend this method of preparation (just don't look inside!).

oven: crispy shell! yay! difficult to separate to add condiments! boo! however, this method of preparation creates an excellent vessel for dipping in guac - like a stuffed nacho! hell yes!

recommendation: perfect for when you've been injured in a snowboarding accident or when you've been dumped by someone with bed bugs/scabies/severe allergic reactions/// - and just want to stay at home and have a mini snack (and a mag of cheap white wine). tasty!