Dad Watson's Sliders - March 3, 2007

rating: 1 out of 5

price: too much for this pile o' poo, but if you must know it was $10.95 for a six pack

nacho girlfriends were dressed in polka dots and ready for a night on the town . . . but not without coating the stomach first! we decided to re-visit dad watson's in fremont after a prior fond memory of them. lo and behold: they suck! we don't know what we remembered, but this was NOT it.

special sauce: what? onions: where? salt: waaaayyy too much. basically, they blew. the only thing good about them was the fact that dad's gave us the correct amount of pickles and tomatoes (on the side) for each one. you know it's a bad sign when you have to smother them in ketchup to get the bad taste away. imagine eating your grandma's worst over salted meatloaf in a cheap white bread bun with some wilted lettuce. um . . . no thanks. even upon polling a few customers indulging in the six pack of sliders, all signs point to "no." blech. we will not return for another sampling.

yay!: we can't think of any, but it was nice of them to provide us with the correct number condiments.

boo!: everything, we even had to beg and plead for napkins and plates!

recommended: absolutely not. we'd rather eat pigeon poop. true story!

Foster Farms Mini Corn Dogs - February 28, 2007

rating: 3 out of 5

price: on sale for $3.50 at fred meyer

on this particular night we learned two things: jesus is magic and mini corn dogs are bad for you. sarah silverman inspired this mini adventure, because when your sister lends you the dvd - you can't just watch her (sarah silverman, not your sister) alone. so a gaggle of fabulous women descended upon 'ego place' for viewing of said comedy with the requirement that everyone brings wine and appetizers. nacho girlfriend 1 asks: "what should i bring?" nacho girlfriend 2 responds: "something mini!!" hence mini corn dogs (they were on sale).

the box directs us to prepare these "honey crunchy" treats three ways: oven, deep fry, or microwave. we opted for the oven method, because lord knows we don't need extra fatty or extra soggy mini corn dogs. all 40-44 dogs piled onto on cookie sheet and 18 minutes later we were in corn dog heaven. in the end they were hit or miss. some of the ladies loved them (shout out to cuzzie karen!), others refused to try them (julia says "no" to chicken). the nacho girlfriends will most likely not eat these again because, the first ingredient, "mechanically separated chicken" is not on our diet - and not to mention each 1" dog is 54 calories and 3 grams of fat (but no trans fat according box!! HOLLA!!).

yay!: they're cheap and are a great vessel for ketchup

boo!: waaaayyyy too high in calories, fat, and disgustingly processed foods.

recommended: they aren't recommended really . . . unless of course you are entertaining trailer trash. or on a budget. or just want to channel some fair food fuzzy feeling from your childhood.

Dragonfly Kobe Beef Sliders - February 24, 2007

rating: 5 out of 5 (at happy hour only)!!

price: $2.50 each, but only $1.50 each at happy hour!

these were, by far, the most unique delicious sliders sampled to date. unfortunately, however, only one nacho girlfriend had the opportunity to savor these savory little treats, because only one nacho girlfriend is insane enough to cross-country ski from mission ridge to blewett pass. and of course, nothing inspires a return to solid foods like cross-country skiing 30k in a snow storm. thankfully sliders were waiting at leavenworth's new swanky pan-asian bistro and lounge! at first it may seem strange to go to leavenworth and find yourself choosing between sushi and pho, but when you have suffered the bavarian naughty potty that excessive bratwurst and beer consumption at oktoberfest will induce - it's a great alternative! in fact, this nacho girlfriend will never go near bratwurst again, so it's a good damn thing dragonfly came to town! it's also a good damn thing they have fantastic sliders - because everything else on the menu was overpriced and . . .well . . . average.

the menu describes the sliders as: "seared kobe burger, dragonfly sauce, sweet salad, pickled cucumber, crispy shallots." it may seem like a strange combination, but it was absolutely amazing to bite into . . . then again after skiing 30k in a snow storm mcdonalds would have been amazing to bite into . . .seriously though, these sliders managed to incorporate a little of every taste sensation. the beef was perfectly seasoned, a little charred on the edges, and pink in the middle - done to perfection! the crispy shallots added a savory touch and a unique texture. the sweet salad and pickled cucumber (no it wasn't just a pickle) brought in more unique textures and a sweet background to the mix. the dragonfly sauce finished it off with spicy kick. not just leavenworth locals will enjoy these - even mini-burger/nacho connoisseurs will appreciate all these sliders have to offer!

yay!: um . . .everything? as long as you love things that are sweet, savory, and spicy all in one! hell yes!! happy hour is in the bar from 4-6 PM and 10-midnight daily.

boo!: um . . . nothing? okay okay . . . when it isn't happy hour they are a bit too much money.

recommend: when you are in washington's own bavarian village and have sworn off bratwurst for life - eat dragonfly's kobe beef sliders! it's also recommended that you skip the rest of their offerings and just eat sliders, trust me, they are the best thing on the menu. everything else you can get for half the price a strip mall in kirkland.

http://www.thedragonflybistro.com/

never fear! we will be back soon!

with much regret, your beloved nacho girlfriends had to take a temporary break from nachos and mini foods.

nacho girlfriend 1 was fearing the dreaded fat monster after almost 2 months without fitness - due to the now infamous snowboarding disaster (note review of trader joe's mini-tacos) at mission ridge.

nacho girlfriend 2 recently realized that bed bug doug truly does have a problem with compulsive lying, and is more of a passive aggressive asshole than ever thought before - and suddenly nacho girlfriend 2 discovered that food really isn't necessary at all. imagine: you can live off of wine, muscle relaxers, and diet coke. who knew?

the good news is, boot camp is right around the corner which will surely force us to start eating cheesy beefy delicious snacks again. stay tuned . . .

the perfect nacho - superbowl sunday 2/4/07

rating: 4.5 out of 5

price: approx. $15 - but it's enough to serve 8+ (but we are greedy and didn't share)

we didn't start this day with the intention of watching the superbowl and eating nachos (we could care less about ponies and grizzlies, but of course we like the commercials). it all started with kathy j (future guest reviewer) demanding that we eat brunch at an establishment that does not serve mini foods OR nachos. imagine? in any case, after said brunch completed the nacho girlfriends had nothing better to do than go home, drink mimosas, and write blogs about previous nacho experiences. in the process we realized that it should be our new mission to create 'the perfect nacho.' we also realized it was superbowl sunday which makes 'the perfect nacho' the perfect football snack. rah!

ingredients for the perfect nacho: round and sturdy tortilla chips, monterrey jack/cheddar blend (and lots), tons of finely chopped onions, cilantro, emeril's mini-roma tomatoes, refried black beans (heating them up first allows for easier distribution). if you are wondering, we didn't use meat because raw meat grosses us both out. we love meat, especially jerky style, but we just don't want to make it ourselves.

on the side: homemade guac (avocado, cilantro, tomato, lime, garlic, onion, salt and pepper), emerald valley hot salsa, tillamook fat free sour cream (have to save calories somewhere), as many jalapenos as you can find (even if there is pigeon poop on it).

process: we opted to use a cookie sheet covered in foil (for easy clean up!). we first made a thin layer of chips on the bottom. next we sprinkled our finely chopped onions all over the top. you can never have too many onions. onions are key!! then we slung refried black bean globs on top. our hot tip of the day is to heat them up first, they sling easier then. finally we top it all with lots and lots and lots of pre-shredded cheesy deliciousness. repeat for one more layer. our next hot tip is to NOT preheat the oven. we put the nachos in a cold oven, then set the temp to 350, and baked for 10 minutes. PERFECT! the cheese was melted but not burnt and the beans were heated. last, we garnished with fresh cilantro and chopped mini-romas. all the condiments were served on the side (of course!!) to prevent excessive sogginess.

yay!: not a dry chip in the house, onions/jalapenos/cheese galore, round chips are a plus, we loved the refried black beans, fat free sour cream makes us feel less guilty for eating a cookie sheet of nachos, papaya enzymes are in the bathroom cabinet for quick digestion.

boo!: we had a few soggies. these really should have been 5 out of 5, but being that we are the nacho girlfriends and we were attempting the 'perfect nacho' we docked ourselves 0.5. however, we are nacho geniuses, we are working on the soggy issue. the next batch won't have any sogginess and will be a true 5 . . . mark our words. they were a bit pricey, but we had waaaayyy too many. $15 bought us enough nacho to feed the honduran army.

recommendation: our nachos rock. and we might share next time to prevent gastrointestinal distress. if you are lucky enough to know us, you'll want to come over and eat them. if you don't know us, too bad. best when served with a mag of cheap white wine.

Ozzie's Nacho Review - 1/6/07 (better late than never)

rating: 1 out of 5

price: we can't remember, but whatever it was, they weren't worth the price.

we apologize for the delay in this review, but as promised we are here to save seattle one bad plate of nachos at a time. ozzie's has the worst nachos we have found so far. granted, it was during a seahawk playoff game, so the kitchen was probably slammed - but still, there is no excuse of bad nachos! anything with that much fat and calorie content is pretty hard to mess up, but ozzie's certainly did.

nacho girlfriends don't even know where to start . . . we are dumbfounded by these nachos. there are no "yays!" here, so here are boos!:

1) not enough condiments. we had to ask for extra salsa and they gave us a tiny cup that cost $.75! wtf?! god forbid we should ask for more guac too! we're too broke for extra guac.

2) the guac and sour cream (not enough of course) were placed in a pile on top. (nacho girlfriend 1 failed to ask for them on the side, but really we think they should always be on the side without asking.) we don't like piles on top because it's difficult to ration out over the whole plate and the poor chips under the piles get soggy and disgusting.

3) way too many dry chips. these were layered worse than kings hardware's nachos.

4) we thought we ordered chicken (costs extra) but we ended up with about a tablespoon of tiny cubes scattered randomly. more importantly, the menu specified that the nachos came with beans, but apparently they don't if you order a meat. boo! don't say beans are included if they aren't!

5) we asked for extra jalapenos and there were hardly any. JALAPENOS ARE KEY!

6) we ate almost the whole plate, yet didn't fall into a nacho coma. in fact we were forced to order bacon cheese fries to prepare our stomachs for an evening of vodka.

7) regardless of the shitty cheese layering and not enough condiments, there was not enough of anything. where are all the onions? we didn't order a plate of tortilla chips, we ordered nachos damn it!

recommendations: don't bother. all the necessary toppings cost extra and these will be million dollar nachos by the time they come up to our standards. shame on you, ozzie's! however, we do love the upstairs karoke host on friday and saturday nights. we recommend him, and don't forget to tip!

Trader Joes Spizzico Pizza - 1/28/07

price: not sure, they were a gift due to being injured on the slopes.

rating: 3 out of 5

ok ladies, you can back me up on this one. you know when you have that early afternoon hair appointment where you're still full from breakfast but by the time you leave the salon you're a ravenous crazy who needs food (i like to use the term 'hangry' to describe such situations). only you're conflicted on what to eat because you've made dinner plans which are only a few hours away? well, i think i've found a solution.

trader joe mini pizzas are the perfect pre-dinner snack. the serving size is 6 of the mini pies, but 3 is perfect to calm you hangriness before dinner. the baking options were microwave or oven baked. i chose to oven bake mine directly on my lower rack because i like a crispy crust, and here are my findings: when made directly from the box, with no alterations, i found them to be okay. the crust was light and crispy but a little too yeasty for my taste buds. also, i felt the crust to topping ratio was inadequate. too much crust for the amount of sauce and cheese. however, i decided to alter the others with some leftover things in my fridge. i added pineapple tidbits, a slice of grilled red onion (from fajitas the night before), red pepper flakes and italian seasoning. just adding these few things made a vast improvement on the little circular delights. i wasn't overwhelmed by the taste of the crust and got a more complex pizza flavor. oh, and don't forget to dip them in blue cheese dressing...yum!

yay!: perfect pre-dinner snack if you cut the serving size in half or a decent meal if you eat the full serving of 6. these would be great for a mini pizza dinner party but have various toppings available for personalized pizza.

boo!: too bland directly from the box. the crust is too yeasty...bleck.

recommendation: if you are a pizza lover give these a try. these would be great if you had kids who want different toppings on their mini pizzas. these can totally be turned into a great appetizer for a party.