Ozzie's Nacho Review - 1/6/07 (better late than never)

rating: 1 out of 5

price: we can't remember, but whatever it was, they weren't worth the price.

we apologize for the delay in this review, but as promised we are here to save seattle one bad plate of nachos at a time. ozzie's has the worst nachos we have found so far. granted, it was during a seahawk playoff game, so the kitchen was probably slammed - but still, there is no excuse of bad nachos! anything with that much fat and calorie content is pretty hard to mess up, but ozzie's certainly did.

nacho girlfriends don't even know where to start . . . we are dumbfounded by these nachos. there are no "yays!" here, so here are boos!:

1) not enough condiments. we had to ask for extra salsa and they gave us a tiny cup that cost $.75! wtf?! god forbid we should ask for more guac too! we're too broke for extra guac.

2) the guac and sour cream (not enough of course) were placed in a pile on top. (nacho girlfriend 1 failed to ask for them on the side, but really we think they should always be on the side without asking.) we don't like piles on top because it's difficult to ration out over the whole plate and the poor chips under the piles get soggy and disgusting.

3) way too many dry chips. these were layered worse than kings hardware's nachos.

4) we thought we ordered chicken (costs extra) but we ended up with about a tablespoon of tiny cubes scattered randomly. more importantly, the menu specified that the nachos came with beans, but apparently they don't if you order a meat. boo! don't say beans are included if they aren't!

5) we asked for extra jalapenos and there were hardly any. JALAPENOS ARE KEY!

6) we ate almost the whole plate, yet didn't fall into a nacho coma. in fact we were forced to order bacon cheese fries to prepare our stomachs for an evening of vodka.

7) regardless of the shitty cheese layering and not enough condiments, there was not enough of anything. where are all the onions? we didn't order a plate of tortilla chips, we ordered nachos damn it!

recommendations: don't bother. all the necessary toppings cost extra and these will be million dollar nachos by the time they come up to our standards. shame on you, ozzie's! however, we do love the upstairs karoke host on friday and saturday nights. we recommend him, and don't forget to tip!